The painful process of design
Originally posted on May 5th 2010
Going through the stressful part of the design process that comes before the ‘big idea’. Not happy with my work and not inspired with the project itself, it’s been tougher than usual. Apply that to the fact that I’ve already been going through a visual re-haul of my current ‘style’ and things aren’t looking so good in the creative growth space. I remember wanting to be a better designer when I first started. I just couldn’t ‘get there’ no matter how hard I tried. It was frustrating then as it is now, but the difference is that I know that this can be overcome through experience. You just can’t jump the process it takes to get to where you want to go. It takes a lot of stress, a lot of denial, a lot of re-thinking, and re-evaluation.
The author, Dean Koontz writes,“When I am writing a novel, I experience bleak spells of deep self-doubt about my work, moments of surging confidence, despair, followed by joy–although there are usually more dark moments than bright.”
Dancer and choreographer Martha Graham is quoted as saying,“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. … No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.”
I should be flattered that resourcing is fighting to get me on their projects, but it just seems so overwhelming at this point. I wish I could just take a break from all of it and be somewhere else, but then there’s the money thing.
