Design exhaustion
Originally published on June 8, 2011
I previously criticized mentors who I felt had ‘given up’ on doing great work, but now I realize that they just got tired. The older you get, the harder it is to keep up, and the easier it becomes to direct. That coupled with the monetary incentives has enough to let go. Why be masochistic about it, when you can be rich and comfortable?
Creation and innovation is hard work. Its emotionally-charged, and because of that, it’s unstable and exhausting to keep going. Unlike other things in life, the act of creation gets harder the older you become. Its easier for the young to find inspiration in life because they lack experience. They ‘see’ things that the older have become blind to. They have the energy to see things through. Their insecurity gives them this. It feeds the need to prove themselves to the world, and the end product is not only glorious, but exhilarating.
Going back to the older creators, I don’t want to give the impression of ‘jadedness’. For, even though some of us take that perspective, a lot of us want to continue to create. Whether its takes the form of enabling those who are inexperienced or taking the self-immolating path of pushing forward, is dependent upon the individual.
There’s a part of me which is feeling the exhaustion. Scales are forming cataracts over my ‘mental eyes’ and my path is harder to see. Its like being extremely tired and seeing a bed. It’d be so easy to fall upon it.
But I’m not going to. I define myself as a designer, amidst all the struggle and self-doubt which accumulate over the years. Some would question the ‘self-doubting’ part. Wouldn’t we become more confident with age? In some ways we do. We come to understand our clients needs better. We understand how relationships matter, and how to work with others. The core is there. Its the media which is changing at such a fast pace. Print design took a lot slower to evolve, and yet, even print design is being propelled into change by the digital age.
So when it comes to the ‘self-doubt’ I speak of, its in regards to pushing something that is evolving everyday. I wasn’t born into this digital age, I adopted it, and, while I can fluently speak the language, I am not a native.
Other ‘adopters’ like I, must push ourselves more and throw off the shackles of ‘what can’t be done’. We are prisoners to our youth, to the past where communication tools were physical rather than virtual. When we explore design, we need to fight our instincts that ‘it can’t be done’ and adopt this generations’it can, and it will’.
I’ve been able to do this successfully so far, however I’d be lying if I said I worked a 9-5 job. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t do my ‘homework’ every waking hour, and lose sleep problem-solving.
I’d also be lying if I told you I’m ready to quit it all right now—that their isn’t a challenge I find uninteresting. Contrary to belief, old dogs can still learn new tricks.
